Holly Conklin saved my life
Who is Holly Conklin?
Holly Conklin and I met for the very first time when I was 19 (march 2008) in Denver Colorado. My name is MK at the current time I am 24. I was and honor roll student, graduated at the age of 17 and scored a 30 on my ACT on my very first try.
My wonderful mother who never gave up on me wanted me in treatment, and back to my old self. At that time in my life I had been using heroin for almost a year. My drug use is best described as pedal to the metal. I started using IV heroin on my first try, and I was a regular in the ICU due to not knowing my own limitations and trying to get higher and higher. My mother had been speaking with a rehabilitation center for months waiting for me to say the words “I’m ready to go.” At this point I had justified my drug use as normal.
The last straw came with a vengeance. I was admitted into the hospital with liver failure, due to my drug use. I was in the hospital for 56 days (24 in ICU, 4 on the transplant list, 8 in and out of an ice bath due to my elevated fever and allergy to acetaminophen, and the remainder 18 days dealing with blood clots) and even though my loving mother thought this instance would be my rock bottom she was wrong. With strict instructions that my body wouldn’t make it through any more destruction I returned to the only thing that I believed would give me PEACE.
Only a few day after my return home from the hospital I was using again. I woke up on an afternoon in March and saw my mother’s car pulling up, in a panic to look as normal as possible I ran down to greet her. Walking to the door it was my mother, and this woman I didn’t know. She had this glow about her that made me feel instantly safe. Holly Conklin and my mother walked in, my mother introduced Holly to me and by the time I came out of my confusion I realized my mother was pulling out of the driveway. She had left me alone with this woman.
We spoke for some time and somehow I ended up pouring out my heart to her, she made me feel so safe before I even realized it had changed my reality, and my perception on drug use. With simple caring words she actually helped me see how destructive my behavior was. Still, even now years later, I look back at that conversation in pure amazement. She made it possible for me to see that shooting heroin wasn’t okay. My justification and reasoning’s were gone because I knew she was right and SAFE. Shortly after we talked she was packing my bags and booking our flights.
I wish this was the end of our story but sadly it’s only an intermission of the relationship Holly Conklin and I forged on that day. I won’t even begin to justify my erratic behavior, but the truth is that the enchanted Holly had to come for me once more. Sobriety is a scary place for people who are constantly scared and hiding from life. Needless to say, I ran from my apartment but somehow she found me at a hotel in downtown Chicago in less than 2 hours. She found me because she was not willing to let me stay lost. I once again returned to treatment because looking back I knew that Holly had every quality that I emulated having in myself. This time I actually did the program and changed.
Without going into all the instances that this wonderful woman stepped into my life, and there are many, I can honestly say that this was not an adventure, it is where my life began and it’s about having someone other than your own Mother never give up on you.
The most important part of this entire story is that I am writing it. Five years ago I was shooting up heroin knocking on deaths door, I had made dying acceptable.
Five years ago one woman changed my reality on drug addiction; she got me to see, and by doing so she saved my life and I’m here today to tell you about it. That’s who she is.